A week or so ago I found a small filing case full of old college work--papers I'd written, notes from my favorite classes, a few tests I'd taken. I was especially drawn to the creative writing folder. There were some items in there that got a little chuckle, but I was also pleasantly surprised at some of the writing, and decided some of it was not that bad. But as I kept reading, I felt like the writing was so self-centered. Granted, I wrote about what I knew, and so most of my subjects came out of college life. For example, my final project was a personal essay about a roommate, pretty much what I learned by living with a difficult person. But I kept feeling like I was missing the big picture.
12 years after I took that writing course, my life is drastically different and it doesn't revolve around roommates, studying, and hoping that boy will ask me out. Time, distance, and experience have given me an entirely different perspective.
Today was a hard day, like many Sundays are. For anyone not familiar with the Mormon church, we have no paid clergy. Members are asked to fill the positions that are necessary to make things roll smoothly. Currently, Dan has an assignment that doesn't always allow him to be with us during church hours. That means that I sit with my three children during our service, and then send Tyler off to his class while I keep the twins for 2 more hours. This can definitely make for a long day at church.
So today I found myself caught up in a woe-is-me attitude. Complaining under my breath that life is hard, and won't it be better when the twins are old enough for nursery, and when will they walk so I don't have to bring a stroller to church, and why do they scream that shrill scream when the room is absolutely quiet.
Then I remembered my college writing days. Back then, I couldn't have imagined my life of today. And suddenly it dawned on me--the stage I am in is a little piece of a big puzzle. I won't always be the mother of little children. I won't always be sitting in the hall for church. This stage is like every other stage--it will evolve into something else.
Bittersweet. Every stage has the good and bad. I guess it is up to me to enjoy what I can, while I can. Because I can't even imagine what my life will be like 12 years from now.
Photos taken at the Houston Temple this afternoon. We decided to do a little drive over to keep everyone occupied. Particularly the cranky babies. But what better way to reinforce the idea of keeping things in perspective.