Sunday, May 23, 2010

Perspective

A week or so ago I found a small filing case full of old college work--papers I'd written, notes from my favorite classes, a few tests I'd taken. I was especially drawn to the creative writing folder. There were some items in there that got a little chuckle, but I was also pleasantly surprised at some of the writing, and decided some of it was not that bad. But as I kept reading, I felt like the writing was so self-centered. Granted, I wrote about what I knew, and so most of my subjects came out of college life. For example, my final project was a personal essay about a roommate, pretty much what I learned by living with a difficult person. But I kept feeling like I was missing the big picture.

12 years after I took that writing course, my life is drastically different and it doesn't revolve around roommates, studying, and hoping that boy will ask me out. Time, distance, and experience have given me an entirely different perspective.


Today was a hard day, like many Sundays are. For anyone not familiar with the Mormon church, we have no paid clergy. Members are asked to fill the positions that are necessary to make things roll smoothly. Currently, Dan has an assignment that doesn't always allow him to be with us during church hours. That means that I sit with my three children during our service, and then send Tyler off to his class while I keep the twins for 2 more hours. This can definitely make for a long day at church.

So today I found myself caught up in a woe-is-me attitude. Complaining under my breath that life is hard, and won't it be better when the twins are old enough for nursery, and when will they walk so I don't have to bring a stroller to church, and why do they scream that shrill scream when the room is absolutely quiet.

Then I remembered my college writing days. Back then, I couldn't have imagined my life of today. And suddenly it dawned on me--the stage I am in is a little piece of a big puzzle. I won't always be the mother of little children. I won't always be sitting in the hall for church. This stage is like every other stage--it will evolve into something else.

Bittersweet. Every stage has the good and bad. I guess it is up to me to enjoy what I can, while I can. Because I can't even imagine what my life will be like 12 years from now.


Photos taken at the Houston Temple this afternoon. We decided to do a little drive over to keep everyone occupied. Particularly the cranky babies. But what better way to reinforce the idea of keeping things in perspective.

7 comments:

Emily said...

I love the bottom picture, so cute! My husband is there to help me at church and I'm still in the hall with the toddler. Your boys are darling. It was fun seeing ya at the temple!

brenkachicka said...

That last picture is so darling!
It seems like yesterday I had three kids under three years old.
Then I blinked and my oldest was a sunbeam and singing happily with the primary.
Today the primary sang "I'm Trying to Be Like Jesus" for the Relief Society. My oldest child is the oldest girl in Primary at age 11. She looks so tall. Almost done with Primary. When did that happen?
I tell, you don't blink. They will grow before you know it. My baby just turned five and is heading off to kindergarten in the fall. It seems like yesterday he came to our family a chubby thirteen month old.
No more blinking!

jennmom2000 said...

Please tell me I wasn't that roomate! I so hope I wasn't! Thank you for the reminder of that little puzzle piece I'm living in now! I miss you.

Amber said...

So true, and you put it so well. Sundays are rarely the day of rest for us these days...but overall, it's sure fun to be a mom.

Kimberly said...

I love this post, Angela. So true. You are such a fabulous mother. Hang in there. I'm glad I read this today.

LRM said...

It's mom, not dad, and I loved, loved this post. It's so amazing to watch your children grow and change. Believe it or not, memories of those hard days with you are just fuzzy memories that are sometimes fun to remind you about. And I wouldn't change any of it!

Emily R said...

seriously, it goes by SOOOO fast!
My BABY is 4 now. I go to church, and they can pretty much sit through sacrament... then they all walk off to their own classes... this season will last only a SECOND! then, on to a new phase with new challenges!!!