Thursday, October 6, 2011

2 months

Nothing to do with this post, but it makes me smile.
Two months ago we arrived from Houston to Utah.  I can remember the date quite easily, since we pulled in on my 35th birthday.  What a fun way to celebrate.  It has been a long two months.

I first have to say that my parents have been awesome.  They have welcomed us completely, not once making us feel like a burden, which I'm sure in many ways we are.  My mom cooks dinner for us every night.  (I offered to do half the cooking, but when she saw what my boys are like between 4 and 6, she just asked for grocery money instead.)  My twins are in LOVE with grandma and grandpa--quite often preferring one of them to their own parents.  The twins, especially Carter, love to sit on grandma or grandpa's lap when eating and share dinner with them.  Adorable and annoying all at the same time.  Grandpa makes us pancakes and waffles for breakfast.  I could keep going, but I will just say that they are patient and kind and amazing to us.

But life has been hard.  The few times in my life I have struggled with depression have centered around times when I was facing an unknown and/or loss of control.  I remember when I graduated from college, not knowing what I was going to do or how to do it, was a hard time.  And on a much smaller scale, a few years ago when we had no power after Hurricane Ike, I found myself going into the same funk--I didn't know how long my life was going to be uprooted, and I had no control over solving my problem.

So when we got to Utah two months ago, I suddenly found myself falling into that same funk.  I didn't know where we were going to be and it killed me.  Then on top of that, I was so angry at Dan.  I kept telling myself that our family could be happy anywhere, but I was bitter.  I had not wanted to move, and I resented the fact that we did for his job.  We started in on the house hunt, but it was so frustrating.  I wanted to move quickly so we could enroll Tyler in school, but things were just not working out.  We actually put offers in on 5 different houses over the course of the hunt.  And on top of it all, I can blame some of my emotional state on pregnancy hormones.

Then there is the fact that we have been in temporary housing.  It is hard to not be in your own space, especially with my boys who can be crazy.  I spend each day chasing after/entertaining/cleaning up from those crazies.  I can sum it up like this:  They've put my mom's throw pillows in the toilet, and my dad has had to take apart his playstation 3 times to remove objects they stuck inside.  (Yes, we finally moved it.) I don't feel like I have much free time, because I have been trying to watch over them more carefully than I might have to in my own home.  And yet they still do all this crazy stuff.

And I guess all that is why I haven't felt like blogging.  I have been in a funk.  And when I get this way, I don't feel like taking pictures, acting cheery, or even putting my thoughts down.

However, there is light at the end of the tunnel.  We finally know where we are going to be, and when.  Of those 5 offers I mentioned, one has solidified.  Dealing with a short sale has taken forever, but it is done.  We are closing on October 17th.  Then we wanted a week to change some flooring and do some painting, so we are aiming to schedule the movers to get our stuff here at the end of the month.  We went back inside the house yesterday, and I still really like it.  It feels right for us.  It is a one story with a bonus room over the garage.  There are four bedrooms, and an awesome kitchen/living space.  I love the laundry room.  We will want to finish the basement soon to get a game room and guest room, but there is plenty of room in the basement for all that and more.  I do find myself thinking about decorating the new house, and where I would put holiday stuff, and it excites me. 

And it will sure be nice to get a fence up and install those locks up high on all the doors, because I am done chasing little boys down the street.


Shelly Cunningham said...

Your funk may just be from raising twins & being pregnant- Lord knows I was in a serious funk the entire duration of Wyatt's pregnancy. Exhaustion was constant, and the twins never stopped.
It will get better. Obviously getting into your own space will help tremendously, but the twins will keep getting older & more independent as well. Oh, and when that sweet little boy, with his tiny fingers & toes arrives in your arms... That, that, will make it all worth it.
Best wishes in your new house & surviving the rest of your pregnancy. I cannot WAIT to see pictures of him!!!

Angela said...

I get that furstration. I haven't ever done well with states of Limbo and depression and I used to be really good buddies/frenimies. I'm glad you're starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel though. It will be nice to get there!

T Fowler said...

I understand you not wanting to announce it on your blog, but let me know where your new home is. It would be great to get together.

Emily said...

Oh Ang- I'm sorry you're in this funk! Moving is so stressful & to go through it pregnant, with twins, & with Dan :) you're a saint! Hang in there & enjoy the little things! Congrats on your new home, I can't wait to see it one of these months!

ilovefood said...

I love you sis :)

Michelle said...

I can't wait to see you next week!! Hang in there, just a few more weeks and you will be in your new home!! Sure miss you guys!!

niki said...

i'm glad that you've found somewhere you like...but i'm still sad that you're not in Houston anymore. we never took advantage of that huh?